Sunday Top Five Hash One

It's Sunday evening, I'm all out of Zelda, and I have no ambition to achieve anything more than indulge in society's finest hippity hop. Behold the top five indulgences brought forth to me this fair eve. Also, for extra hard-earned brownie points, Leaf Dog just issued his album on vinyl. Could I be happier? No. Well, maybe if I was trollied.

Numbero Uno: Leaf Dog - Before The Days

The sickest hip-hop banger I've heard since ever, that flute/thing riff going throughout the song is a Summer classic. 'Oh yes' is the only thing you can say when you're sunburnt to a crisp, your Ribena is halfway through, and this song appears on the system. Bob your head, it's fucking sick to the core. Diamond D's verse is fucking old school. His lyrics are top notch, and it's a verse you can learn off and impress the ladies with. Leaf Dog kicks in with that voice you hate to love, shaky to bits. His lyricism is at its best I reckon, making the most appropriate reference to TMNT I've ever heard. You'll be walking around the upper side of town shouting 'I'm from a lower class, I smoke a load of grass, and the only bar of soap I've seen is a lump of hash' until you get deported. Beaver is on form too, with more hooks than a... I won't. Sicker than a plane to Lourdes, you gotta check it.

If you like Diamond D, check The Hiatus. If you like Beaver, big ups, check his whole catalogue.

Numero Two-o: Skinnyman - I'll Be Surprised

Coming into contact with this tune through Sektion Red's feature on Boom Bap 2014 was the best thing to happen to the author since toasted sliced bread. An old school English banger, you can really connect with it. How? I don't know. I don't question these things. It's a serious heavyweight, and you can hear the feeling in the lyrics. Talking about shootouts and such, one could say it's the English answer to the ghetto anthems from acts such as NWA or Nas, but I wouldn't agree. It's too individual. Sporting pre-historic snapbacks makes him look like the mother of creation. It's a hard hitter; that's the bare-bones centre. Excellence.

You dig it? Check Council Estate Of Mind.

Nombre Tree: Lord Lhus - Cunt Control

Not entirely sure why I didn't know about this song until know, but hey, check yo self. Shared on his facebook page, Lhus loves promoting. Not a bad thing; it works. With DJ Cammy vocals on the intro, one could be initially dismayed. It's worth the wait though. Feminism has no place here. Talking about 'taking dick like a lady', it really does showcase the talent of the younger Lhus. I could understand if you don't like hearing repeatedly about Lhus' little member, but the comedic value is enormous, no pun. However, do not come (no pun) running trying to give out. Each verse gets better, with girls having to shower before being eaten out. Lhus truly is a genius; how you think he got the name Lord. The video is hilarious too; the pictures are brilliant.

թիվը For: Lord Lhus - Ground You Walk Upon

Every time I see 'Prod. Dirty Dike' I always feel it should be him rapping, talking about opening his nose and putting coke up it in an English accent. But then again, he surpasses all expectations each and every time. This feature is incredible and suits Lhus perfectly. Words cannot encapsulate how much respect I have for Lhus these days, or how much he truly deserves. Facebook statuses include asking the public about their favourite European rappers, and listing one from each country. Can you do that? I can't. Pushing the boundaries for rappers in underprivileged areas (in the sense that who really wants to listen to songs in other languages?), Lhus really supports the artists. This one features PSL (whom I believe is from the Netherlands, although I may stand corrected), and with that catchy vocal melody and haunting drum samples, it gets stuck in your head. The foreign rapping is really appropriate here, and it showcases each rappers talent perfectly. Respect to Lhus. 420.

The song that essentially got me into hip-hop was Lhus' installment with Al'Tarba, Jace Abstract and Dike, entitled '3 Amigos'. Dike has also produced for Ed Scissortongue on the Theremin EP if you're interested. Internationally speaking, The Sadists, with Droogz Brigade from France is a nice one.

Last and least, عدد 5: Merkules - L.A.S.H.

Hailed as the white Biggie Smalls, one can immediately see the similarities. Aside from image, the flow of Merkules is incredible. Truly like BIG. I heard he's from Canada, but I can't find it and I'm too lazy to try harder so let us assume he is from Canada until proven wrong. The flow is ridiculous. Snak The Ripper has a strange scrawny white-boy voice, and that dum dum dumdum riff is infectious. The lyricism truly is something else (a fat dirty mothafucka, you mad coz your chick look like Bilbo Baggins), and originality is always appreciated. With less shame than a politician, the video is hilarious. I'm not sure where the idea for a half-naked Merkules with a plunger on his head came from, but it cracks me up. Action Bronsen has that lyric 'I got no shame to show the chest at all', so I reckon Merkules and Bronsen get together to form a supergroup.  Maybe, maybe not. Someday. 

You dig Merkules? Check his bandcamp at http://merkules.bandcamp.com/

If you do not agree with the views expressed in this article, we take complaints very seriously here at the headquarters. Please piss in an envelope and mail it to go fuck yourself. Script.

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